Life is getting in the way again and, on top of it, recent events have caused my depression to return. I've been battling it for several days and, although I am taking meds for it again, I'm "not out of the woods," yet.

I will be back just as soon as possible. In the meantime, maybe you would like to subscribe to my journal so you would know when I have returned. It's up to you.

I'll miss you, but it's only for a little while.

The rainy season is upon us. If April showers bring May flowers, what does May showers bring? I know I'm anxious for Summer to arrive and STAY that way for a good while. I'm bored today because I've done absolutely nothing. Gloomy weather always causes me to feel unenergetic and tired.

It's probably obvious by now that I'm also becoming bored of this blog. I think I was wanting to find a resurgence of what used to be here at Bravenet, but I don't see that happening. As I've stated before, I don't like change. We were a close-knit group at one time and there were no business sites to speak of and no spam running amok on the commuinty board. We really cared about one another to visit every day to make sure everyone was doing okay. When someone "disappeared" we were beside ourselves with worry. To sum it all up, I guess we were like family.And I miss so many of my family...

Back to what I've been blogging since I've returned.... I was thinking about our ancestors and those who have gone before. For example, my dad remains only a memory to my brother and myself and a few of his older grandchildren. The younger grandchildren don't remember him and the great-grandchildren that being born, won't remember him at all. There are no memories for them. So, when my brother and myself both pass away, there will only be a handful of to remember my dad. When they have passed on, so will all the memories of my dad and their grandpa.

My dad was a wonderful person and I don't say that just because he was my father. He came form the "old school" where manners, morals and hard work was the norm. He was compassionate and sensitive. He hardly ever became angry and he allowed most of life's punches to roll of his back. They don't make many men like him anymore. One day, there will be no one to place flowers on his grave and seeing photos will only incite a "Who's that?" He deserves so much more, but unfortunately, it will not be. Next month will mark his passing of 16 years ago. 16 years. It seems so much less than that. My heart still holds him close and I'm thankful that I dream of him from time to time, where I get to see his silly lop-sided grin, hear his voice and gaze upon his face.

To be continued.....

I could hardly believe it! I got up this morning to SNOW! That threw my hopes for summer-like weather out the window. I'm feeling so-so because I have a touch of hubby's cold. I don't feel badly, really, but it's all in my chest. Since I'm prone to pneumonia, that worries me just a little at this point.

Now where was I? Oh yeah.... That 3-letter word, AGE, could bring much joy and happiness or it could mean unhappiness and regret. Don't get me wrong - I'm not exactly unhappy now that I'm older. I do have a few regrets, but I think that's true for most of us. It's just that time has flown by and I can't pinpoint a time when I finally recognized that I'm not that slim, lovely woman that I used to be. It's like a dream, you know? By day, you're young and bold and sometime at night, you became overweight and WRINKLED! I looked in the mirror and told myself that there are plenty of years left to look like this. I glanced in the mirror a second time and I saw sagging skin and a double chin. I used to laugh at old people. I don't mean I made fun of them, but I do remember remarking time after time that I'm NEVER become THAT old. So, what is old exactly? At 8 years old, someone of 18 is old. At 13, someone is old at 25. And at age 25, someone is old if they're 40. Old to me, means wrinkles, sagginess here and there, old age spots, in a rocking chair with knitting needles in hand.

Just today I came across a few of my baby pictures. What a startling wake-up call that was! I used to lay in my mother's arms. My mother used to feed me from a spoon and she saved my first loose baby tooth. There's a lock of blond hair and an announcement that "It's a girl!" And there are hand and foot prints of an infant. Yep, we all started out the same. A babe in arms and then - suddenly - here I am. To be continued...

Today was absolutely beautiful! It got up into the 80s and my spring fever took over. I cleaned out one of our sheds, which contained the outdoor decorations and tools, as well as some other stuff that will be going into a yard sale. I think our city-wide yard sale will be sometime in June and I'll participate this year. I am soooo tired!

I am certainly feeling my age tonight! When do we reach that point in time when our brains tell us that we can do whatever we so desire, but the body says something different? It's so disappointing and frustrating. I'm going to leave you tonight with the following....

"This Body"
 
All my life I've been wearing this hand-me-down that never quite fit.
Changed in shape by childbirth, chocolate and time.
Distinguished by stretch marks, broken veins, freckles into age spots, dimples into wrinkles.
This body comfortable as a rump-sprung jogging suit finally suits me.

Good night and I'll see you again soon. To be continued...

Winter-like weather has returned to our region.It was very, very windy today and cloudy. Mother Nature is surely playing a joke on us. My mood is content because I had a very good day today, even though I stayed indoors for the most part.

I thought I'd share the following link with you.... This is definitely a must see! I was so shocked that I actually got goose bumps.

Boyle's Got Talent
by Mike Krumboltz
April 13, 2009 12:53:39 PM

6,109 Votes "American Idol" isn't the only launching pad for aspiring singers. Across the pond, "Britain's Got Talent" scored a huge boost in the Buzz after an unassuming contestant gave an amazing performance.

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92464?fp=1

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired moustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask to see your boobs .

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.'

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all teenager and think: 'For this I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that yo uhave more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of England

Mid-life means that you become more reflective . . . You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realise that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

To be continued.....

A most lovely day, for the most part. I tried playing in the dirt mud, but it's just not quite ready to give up the weeds, yet. In fact, the weeds are about the only thing that's growing.

I intended to post before now, but I was having some puter problems.

Easter is day after tomorrow. Time moves along like a fast-flowing river. Soon, it will be time to remove the Easter decorations for another year.

Does anyone Twiiter? I do and I'd love to follow you, if it's okay with you.

I am so obssessed curious about age that I like seeing the before and after photos of elderly people who have passed away. (I read the obits as part of the daily newspaper.) It amazes me how beautiful or handsome so many of those people once were. Old age is cruel, in my opinion. I've often wondered why we must grow old. Why can't we remain young adults, with energy to spare? The elderly become grouchy, restless, and with some, dementia sets in. What's fair about all of that?

I hope your holiday is the greatest and the weather is warm. To be continued...

This has been a most beautiful day! The sun has shown brightly all day. I'm feeling energetic because I got to go outdoors and get dirt under my fingernails! I love "playing" in the dirt and I'm looking forward to yet another day such as this one.

Not too much has been going on around here. We are getting prepared to take a couple of days away from home sometime this month. My hubby's daughter is due to deliver around April 16th. It will be his second grandchild, but the first of his daughter's. He has an older son from a previous relationship and he and his wife have a little girl.My hubby's 2 kids aren't all that fond of me, so I just kind of hang out in the background as much as possible. They're polite to me, but for some reason known only to them, they resent my being with their dad.

I can hardly believe Easter is just around the corner. Wasn't it Easter just last week?  I am the time traveler, after all.

I wrote a letter to the governor of my state, protesting the slaughter of wolves. I told him I didn't have a problem with the wolves being managed, but I felt it important that it be done humanely. I received a reply, but no where in that reply did the governor mention the wolves being disposed of humanely. Here are a couple of links for you to YouTube videos, dealing with this same issue. www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VyXV1wf26Q&feature=PlayList&p=4460991DB0647BE5&index=3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWfxeXlMPkQ&feature=PlayList&p=EAB1E7E5D1900285&index=0&playnext=1

Well, that's it for this time. I hoep you all had a great weekend and an ever greater week! To be continued...

When will this winter-like weather ever end?!! It's becoming real depression. My mood is anxious because I'm awaiting results of an ultrasound. My doctor ordered an MRI a while back and that came back as my brain being fine. (Does that mean I'm not crazy?)  However, the MRI showed what could be a problem with my carotid artery. So, the ultrasound was done on both carotids a couple of days ago. If that does or doesn't show a problem, I'll also have an MRA. I wasn't too nervous about any of it when I had the MRI, but now I'm sorta worried. Good grief, I don't need any more stress!

Have you ever looked at an old person and thought to yourself how much they must hate being old? I have, but not until I became "older" myself. It isn't the age that bothers me (I've probsbly already said that), but rather how quickly the years have gone by. And I hardly noticed until I awoke one day and took a long look in the mirror. Where did she go? That woman that was young and slim, with plump lips and taut skin? Now the only thing plump is my butt! My hands are wrinkled and my boobs slipped down a notch. My butt got big, as did my calves. When I used to be so proud to wear shorts in the summertime and sleeveless tops.... Now I wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of shorts and I keep these flabby arms covered up.

We all began as infants. We all kept growing. And then, one day, we were getting cranky, couldn't stand a lot of noise, ran out of energy and could no longer do some of the things that we did in our youth. That's what I'm talkin' about, people. Our brains tell us that we can do it. Our bodies beg to differ. The hardest part is having to leave so much behind now - the things we can no longer do, but would give anything if we could. Inside my head (without looking at a mirror) I'm still the young woman who loved to take crazy chances and run around in a sports car. Where did she go? To be continued...

It snowed all day. About 4" worth of the white stuff. I am soooo looking forward to nice weather! I'm bored because there's nothing worth watching on TV and I'm just a little bored with being online.

I thought I'd share the following with you....

*Senior Personal Ads *

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

That's it for this time. I'm tired and so I think I'll just crawl into bed and get a full night's sleep for a change.  To be continued.......

I did not realize that I haven't updated in a week. This just fiurther confirms how time has a way of quickly escaping when we become older.

The MRI went fine, but because I have claustrphobia, it was far from being a picnic. Our little town uses a mobile unit and is here on Tuesday and Thursday. There is no sedation nor music to drown out the loud thumping and banging of the machine. When I first entered the tube (or tomb, as it should be correctly named), I felt like I was being buried alive and I had such an urge to tell the technician that I couldn't do it. That I wanted out NOW. I used a little mind control and put myself somewhere else and that helped.

So, now I'm waiting for the results, which I thought maybe would be some time this week. At least, I hope so. The waiting is difficult and time certainly does not go fast enough when waiting for news. I'm really confident that everything will come back normal. I've been feeling okay, but still have times when I become off-balance, for no apparent reason.

I had a lovely visit from Sparkle and Whisper of the Heart and it was so nice to read their comments. Btw, I named one of my dogs "Whisper" whom was a stray a couple of years ago.

It snowed yesterday. And today. I want to be able to go outside and get my hands dirty in the soil, but one only knows how soon that will be. Crazy weather everywhere, it seems.

To be continued....